A few painful moments...! (Part 2)

I was getting ready to bring down the roof. The nurse did a smart thing of letting me stay. Told them that he's most probably thirsty and it'd help if they would wet his lips. Miss Mallu nurse, "that'll make him vomit. That is not good". Lady, I was asking to wet his lips, not make him drink water. Someday when she has had to undergo an operation she'll realise what I meant. "No giving him anything till 4 o'clock." The clock showed 3.15 pm. And this guy was coming around. He was getting restless. He couldn't see. That bit I was sure about. How do I make him know that I'm around. And he didn't have to fear my touch. The only thing that came to mind at that moment was to sing a tune which he might recognise as mine & his alone. Remembered one of the tunes that Dad and I used to sing to him when we put him to sleep. Went close to his ear and softly started singing 'Dal mujhe baal, need mujhe baal'.. sang it for a while. It worked he realised I was there. He started turning towards my voice trying to raise his hand and touch me. He really couldn't make out it was me through his eyes.

Somewhere in the nurse's mind, it might have registered I was his mom and the only who could keep him calm or else get the stitches open and bleeding. She asked if I'd like to lie down next to him on the bed. Like? Heck! I've been wanting to be with him from the moment he woke up and she didn't even inform me thinking she'd 'handle the situation'. Said 'Yes, I'd like that.' The railing was lowered on one side of the bed and I lay down next to him. Slowly turned him towards me, trying to make sure that he was comfortable and not hurting himself and started singing in a low voice to him. He tried coming closer. I was afraid that if i brought him any closer he'd be going 'ouch'. After a while he seemed to calm down. The drip feed from his hand not yet been removed. And in the process of trying to clear his eyesight, he rubbed both his hands against his eyes. Asked the nurse if the drip could be removed since it was no longer needed. I remembered the doc stating that it wasn't needed in her presence. The lady says 'No. We will remove it before shifting him to the room'. CONTROL! that's what u got to do! Bit my tongue and stayed quiet. Went back to singing and keeping Joel's hands away from his eyes.

In the meantime, the nurse called up the doctor and checked with him if the drip could be taken off and we move Joel to the room. Not very sure what the doc said, but in the end I got my wish granted. 3.45 pm and the nurse allowed me to nurse him against the stated 4 o'clock. Joel nursed as he felt. I didn't force him to drink and quench his thirst and hunger. Allowed him to do and take things as he felt. Didn't want my baby throwing up and feeling even more sick than he was already feeling. Nurse seemed to be a lot more agreeable from that point on. She said that I could take him to the room. She's just give me a set of medicines which needed to be given to Joel. And then we'd have no probs at all. Wondered what exactly was going on. But I wasn't going to rock my boat just then. Joel too seemed to perk up a bit. He was very wonky but able to keep himself upright for a while. But not without being held. Slowly we both went back to the room. In my hand I was clutching the prescription sheet from Miss Mallu Nurse. She accompanied us back to the room.

As we entered Amrith woke up. Noticed that the sleep didn't do him much good. He was still tired from his bus journey and the happenings of the day. He must have been feeling even worse inside. It took him a while to get his head and thoughts clear. After which he made a few phone calls home to Acha and Ajit who was here at that time. The water pipe from the tank had broken and Acha and Ajit were battling the situation there. It was a good thing I must say. I couldn't have handled Acha and Ajit being in the hospital too. Acha can't bear to see anyone being injected, let alone operated. Both of them would have questioned Amrith and me and the entire staff. I don't like that happening. Makes me feel as if Amrith and I are still need hand-holding.

Anyways, after coming back to the room, Amrith and I just packed up Joel's things. Got the medicines required for him. Got ready to settle claims. All the while, Joel was trying to sit by himself and move around. He was nursed again a little. It was a little funny watching him trying to grab his toy but all he caught was thin air coz he kept missing his toy by a few centimetres each time. (I was right about his vision not being right while the anesthetic was wearing off). Another hour and we went home.

Reaching home, I relaxed. Joel seemed to recover very quickly. He needed to be held all the time though, else he'd go toppling over. His vision improved. With a good night's sleep, he was back to his normal self the next day with an ouch spot to be handled with care.

The operation had gone off smoothly. Just the holes in the care before and after operation. Joel's fine and doing great.

Of late, he's begun biting people. So far he'd bit Dad only. Last night, he bit me thrice. There are 2 teeth already out and another 2 more sprouting. Heck! he's going to have sufficient to bite into his birthday cake .

A few painful moments...! (Part 1)

Joel got circumcised on Jan 11th, 2006. It was not easy for me to see the nurses come and go taking blood samples or injecting him. If Amrith wasn't around, I think I'd have just taken him home without him getting circumcised. I wish and hope that nurses meant for children are trained to deal with little children in a much better manner than they are doing right now.

Joel's been a brave guy till date whenever I've had to take him for his vaccines. He cried only when injected. Once the needle was out, the crying stopped.

This time though I knew the nurses were doing it wrong. They hurt him. In the process, I got hurt pretty bad too. I've never known to have such a control over my anger and not lash out. That was a tough time.

Amrith had reached home (Urwa) by 6 am. We both went for the 7 am mass since it was our wedding anniversary. Mom gave Joel his breakfast by 7.30 am. After that a little packing and keeping a few things ready. And off we went to Colaco Hospital at 9. We were given a room around 10. After that it was a phase of keeping Joel occupied while preparing him for the surgery. A lady nurse walked in with a male nurse for taking a blood sample. If the lady knew how to handle the needle carefully and with precision, she'd have been able to get the required sample with one prick. But no! she had to prick him about 3 times and on the third, squirm to find his vein. That's when I saw red. Amrith held him in a body lock the entire time. Poor Joel ust cried. After the sample was taken, Dad took Joel around to distract him from the pain. Thankfully he slept at his usual regular time. Dad helped put him to sleep.

After his nap was another round with the needle. Yikes, the nurse pinched his butt just to insert the needle. I know it's all part of the procedure - the blood sample taking, the injections. But what the heck! I think they can be careful not to make it hurt too much.

After that round of crying, I had to steel myself against nursing him. He was so hungry and till the surgery was over and the anesthetic wore off, I was instructed not to feed him. The guy's energy level was dropping pretty fast and low. Finally we received a message that we were to take him to the operation theatre. So undressed him to the level of keeping his pampers on and walked to the theatre area. Had to wait there for a little while. By then, mom and Sangi had reached the theatre area. I was allowed inside with him for a few minutes. Then the anesthetist came in. My request for being with him when they administered the anethesia was not granted. They took him, gave him a shot and then called me in. When I went in he was bawling. I felt so helpless and angry at the same time.

"Routine!" hmpf! Whatever happened to being considerate to the mother's feelings and emotions. Heck! a mom knows that a 10 month old child is going to be scared in the hands of strangers, especially if the strangers seem to be hurting him in the wrong spots.

Held him till he started going drowsy. Another request that I be with till he fell asleep. NO! What I had in mind at that time and till date, I can't express in words. But be sure! it's totally negative to the extent that I was even thinking of suing the hospital staff for being inconsiderate and almost inhuman.

They took from me. He had a blank look in his eyes. Couldn't control his body. God alone knows what must have been happening inside him. Waited outside the entire time with Amrith, mom, Sangi and dad.

Once the operation was done, they let me into the post op for a few minutes to see him. He was bare. The foreskin cut and the remaining portion stitched up. Looked painful but he was asleep. Was relieved that he was breathing and looked fine. That's when I saw him shudder. I don't know if it was becoz he was bare or if it was due to the fear/crying during the anethesia time. That's when I kicked myself for not being more demanding and letting the 'routine' get the better of me. The doc came to the post op and gave a whole bunch of instructions to me and the nurse in charge of the post op. Ah! the lady - a Mallu. I don't have anything personally against Mallus. Just that this one ticked me off with her high-handedness. She made more noise in the post-op than all the nurses and docs in there and she told me to move out coz I'd be disturbing the other patients in there. I moved out on the condition that I be told if he woke up or cried.

The doc had warned us before that while coming out of anesthesia, Joel might throw up since it was a side-effect. The thing to be taken care of was that he threw out and not choke on his own vomit. I was hoping that the nurse was aware of that. I somehow didn't have much confidence in the nurse heading the post-op. Waited outside the post-op for a while. That's when I started feeling woozy. Realised that it was a matter of just waiting and waiting and not knowing how long the wait would go on. I knew there was a deadline of a few hours. Yet, that seemed the longest compared to the rest of the waiting. Decided that I'd head back to the room. So went into the post-op room to inform the nurse that I'd be in the room and to call me there as soon as the little guy stirred. She said she'd do so. Looked at Joel and he seemed to be coming out of the deep sleep. His eyes were opening up. Pointed this out to the nurse. She said it'd be better to let him sleep it off. And she went to gently pat him to sleep. He seemed to relax. Felt a little better when I headed back to the room.

In the room, dad was sleeping.Amrith and I decided to crash out for a little while since both of us knew that a call would have us both up and ready to rush to the post-op. Had just closed my eyes and I got a call from Sangi. She'd left home after the operation. It was for dad. Gave the phone to him and went back to sleep. Somewhere in my mind or being or wherever, I was thrown awake. I don't know what it was that woke me up. By then, Dad had left to attend to some of his work owing to the phone call. Amrith was still sleeping. When I looked at the time, it showed me that I'd been in the room for a total of 15 minutes but in that time a lot seemed to have transpired. I felt fresh but couldn't sit still. Just went off to the post-op without waking Amrith.

Met a mid-wife/ayah on the way. She said that Joel had come to but was still drowsy. But seeing that he was taken care of, he smiled and went back to sleep. The only thing of the entire message she conveyed which registered in my brains was that he smiled. That got me smiling too. So I went in. I could see Joel's eyes open. He was moving his mouth as if trying to say something. But his eyes were still having that blank look. And going closer, he seemed to look panicked. There were 2-3 nurses standing close to him. But he just moved his mouth and tried moving his head too, as if stretching. That's when I went back into worry mode. If he smiled and went back to sleep, why was he looking this way?

And it begins

Year 2006 has begun. It's the second day. Am in the office. Wishing for my mom to get back soon from Mumbai. I know she'll be back on 4th Jan. But still somewhere inside me there's this hope that maybe if I wish for it real bad (or good), she might come early.

2005 has ended. It was a year of Joel, Joel, a little of Amrith and work, Joel, a little of getting back into shape, Joel, Joel and Joel. The nice part of ending 2005 was it ended with Amrith, Joel and me spending time together at Udupi.

Christmas eve was spent in Mangalore. Went to church. I sang in the choir except for Communion time. Missed communion coz Joel was feeling cranky and hungry. Nursed him while I heard the choir sing 'While Shepherds Watched' and 'Away in a Manger'. 25th Dec morning we left to Udupi for the day. Were back in Urwa in the evening. Nothing major or great. All the decorations were at Mom's place. Not that much in Udupi except for the lighting and the star.

2006 began the same way as 2005 ended- Amrith, Joel and me together. Ah! more family time . Amrith cooked 'Chicken Shakuti'. What Shakuti means, I do not know. But it tasted real good.

During this weekend, Joel got used to Bittu (the pom dog). He was all excited to see a white fur ball walking around the house. Bittu seemed a little off-mood coz she had to share her space with a human doll who couldn't stand properly, let alone speak a sensible word. She must have wondered why everyone (read that as Acha, Amrith and Kala) were going ga-ga over a little tyke.

Joel had a bath with the water that was kept for Bittu, applied biscuit and cream all over his clothes, explored all the rooms in his home in Udupi, got attached to Amrith since Amrith was the guy who could and would drive the car.

From the last pos to now: Joel's tooth became teeth. There's one on his upper jaw. One on the lower jaw. Another 2 seem to be on the way. He will have to undergo a circumcision soon. As per what the doc says, better to do it earlier than late. Left for later, it'd prove to be a strain on his kidneys.